Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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