K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
My pussy is not your playground.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
