Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up