remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.