Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
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Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
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I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.