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Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
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