So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize