it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize