There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
