dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize