I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
