Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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