he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
