hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
did i walk over a car last night?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
