me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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