i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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