So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
we should paint friendship bongs
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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