They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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