I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
