i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
