FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
