he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
What drink are we having for lunch?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
