She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
