Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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