I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
