i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
