I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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