It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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