dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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