you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I lost the right to judge tonight
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
