How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
