He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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