I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
