She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
