So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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