If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize