it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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