where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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