oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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