I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The beer is more important than you right now.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
