Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
