Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
