i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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