well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
