Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
