yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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