Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
