At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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