My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
