3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
