The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
