i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
this hospital has no fireball
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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