Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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