It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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