I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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