none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
