she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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