Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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