So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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