Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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