I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
