i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
